How has your idea of success changed over time?
May 28, 2025 | Sparkle Wednesday
Recently, I exchanged emails with a family friend in his mid-80s who was considering volunteering for a human rights organization. I shared how much I admired and appreciated his willingness to take action.
During our back-and-forth, he confided that he felt a bit discouraged by the organization. He sensed the staff was “young and naive.” I responded by pointing out that youth and naivety often go hand-in-hand with boldness, inspiration, and the drive to simply do something. I wondered aloud: would some people of a certain age even try anymore? Or might they feel too disillusioned, too convinced that meaningful change is out of reach?
That conversation stirred up some thoughts about how we define success. When we’re young, we’re full of ideals, sometimes unrealistic ones, and over time, reality can chip away at that spark. For some, character continues to grow; for others, it stalls out. The fire dims.
It got me thinking: has my idea of success changed over the years? Without a doubt. To be honest, I’ve never been especially driven by wealth or material things, not even in my early 20s, when I didn’t have much of either. These days, what matters most is how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and having a purpose. Time, to me, is far more valuable than money or stuff ever could be.
What about you? Has your definition of success evolved?
This is a good question. Success is having meaningful relationships with family and friends. Success is nurturing lifelong friendships. Success is finding my place in the community and doing what needs to be done. My Mom was a volunteer even when she was busy bringing up 5 kids. Late in her life she became a Master Gardener which involved lots of volunteering. My Mom was kind a shy person but in her time as a Master Gardener, she bloomed (pun intended.)That made an impression on me. Success, for me, has been putting myself out there in not- so -comfortable situations. We moved to Saint Paul 7 years ago after raising our kids in a smaller town for more than 20 years. It's harder to make friends when you are older and it takes being very intentional about it. I feel like I've been successful at growing new friendships and community- I'm so grateful for that. Recently one of the first friends I made when we moved to Saint Paul, died. Her name was Sally and she was so generous with her time and her love and I so admired her for that. She was successful in all the ways that matter. How has my view of success changed? I think that I am more focused now on others than I was in younger days. Maybe some years and experience have helped to figure this out- even if you are an introvert by nature (I am), there is so much richness in connecting in meaningful ways with others. Success is doing new things, trying new things, and I think most of all, being a good friend, sister, mother and now, gratefully, Grandmother. Thanks for this question, Lisa.
What an interesting question. Money has never been a sign of success for me either. I have always been about change… my first successful change through structured protest was 3rd grade when I challenged the girls’ dress code and won. We could wear shorts. Advocating for change and teaching my girls to do so has been a measure of success for me. B’s first protest was as a baby- we organized a breast feeding sit in at a store that wouldn’t let me feed her. Change within myself is probably the best feeling of success. I love hearing I’m a ‘damn good mom’, I’m a fabulous partner, or I’ve helped change a life for the better as a counselor. 💜